What Your Favorite Sushi Says About You

Scientifically proven
  1. Red Snapper
    You're a fundamentally good person with fundamentally good taste. Great job!
  2. Halibut
    You pay for everything on the first date, which is ALWAYS at Sugarfish
  3. Oh-Toro
    Well, la-dee-da Mr or Mrs Moneybags. You probably eat this on your private jet to Aspen
  4. Kanpachi
    You're Hawaiian
  5. Albacore
    You KILLED IT in your marketing department this month. You eat an order of this before going out with your girlfriends to Saddleranch
  6. Toro
    You are SUPER into Coldplay and hanging out at the mall
  7. Uni
    You have a deep appreciation for the rich, delicious garbage parts of the animal
  8. Salmon
    You like the idea of sushi, but NOT the idea of being adventurous in any way. You own a lot of crew-neck sweaters
  9. Scallop
    You're @nbaida . Therefore, you're the greatest person on earth
  10. Octopus
    If the Feds ever got their hands on your computer, you'd have A LOT of explaining to do
  11. Unagi
    You have no problems eating bones. You like feeling like a giant in a children's nursery rhyme
  12. Monkfish Liver
    You're Andrew Zimmern. And if you ARE actually Andrew Zimmern, let's be friends
  13. Yellowtail
    You're like Jason Witten: solid, dependable, rarely splashy, but a solid member of the team
  14. Abalone
    You've watched Gastropods have sex at least once, and you were kind of into it
  15. Whitefish
    You don't actually exist. No one likes Whitefish
  16. Barracuda
    You believe that, by eating an animal's flesh, you gain it's power. You've also eaten a considerable amount of of shark and bear
  17. Oyster
    You're DTF. Right here. Right now. With everyone watching
  18. Tomago
    Somehow an unborn chicken is more appealing to you than a delicious, full grown fish. Weirdo
  19. Sweet Shrimp
    You bought a Michael Vick jersey AFTER he got out of jail. You believe in mankind's dominance over nature
  20. Inari
    You're a living cartoon. Maybe you have fox ears, or a tail. You're mischievous
  21. Squid
    Whenever you move into a new neighborhood, you have to go door to door, disclosing a very particular bit of information
  22. Salmon Skin
    You like beef jerky, but are trying to get in shape for bikini season
  23. Sea Bream
    You like stuff BEFORE it's cool. Therefore, you're insufferable
  24. Mackerel
    You're a sea lion. I would like to frolic with you
  25. Ono
    You're super happy that you found the sushi equivalent of olestra. Have fun losing a considerable amount of weight
  26. King Crab
    You're currently eating at the Venetian buffet. You'll tell all the members at the Milwaukee Elks Club about "this crazy Japanese thing" when you get back from the convention
  27. Cooked Shrimp
    Your kid just moved to the big city, and you're attempting to look "cool" to them by taking them out to dinner
  28. Surf Clam
    You want the experience of chewing gum with the flavor of almost drowning at the beach. You're a risk taker
  29. Avocado
    Your favorite drink is water. Your favorite movie is "Disney." Enjoy mediocrity, asshole
  30. Roe
    You're a Russian gangster, or you're greatly disappointed that Orbitz soda is no longer made
  31. Cucumber
    Fuck you. You make me sick