You Know You're an Introvert If...

  1. Sometimes you feel like you're the only real person on the world, but then you leave the mannequin store.
  2. You avoid small talk by shouting "Boston is a world leader in secondary education," repeatedly, until your partner decides to leave.
  3. The sound of people speaking frightens you, yet they sound of those same people screaming in terror is oddly comforting.
  4. Rather than ask to use a friend's restroom, you've tuned your body to absorb ALL of your food waste.
  5. A perfect night for you is a good book, a roaring fire, and your childhood bully safety stuffed in a trunk under your bed.
  6. You hate going to parties, but LOVE watching "Party of Five" on Netflix every night for six months straight.
  7. You know that the REAL way to express yourself is to write in a diary every day and then burn it so no one can know your secrets.
  8. Your constantly running inner monologue keeps telling you to kill President Reagan, regardless of how many times you remind it that he's already dead.
  9. You've been told to "come out of your shell," because humans aren't meant to live in 12 foot tall ceramic shells.
  10. People call you an "old soul," which is accurate as you've been possessed by the spirit of an ancient Korean river demon.