Reasons why I'm more likely to watch Cartoon Network than my local news

  1. 1.
    Fosters home is a good thing on CN
  2. 2.
    Cartoon Network doesn't show mug shots of ppl I went to high school with
  3. 3.
    Sugar spice and everything nice
  4. 4.
    No one from Cartoon Network did heroine and died with their kid in the car
  5. 5.
    My local news does not have squidbillies