For Hanukkah: A List of People Who Are Jewish, According to Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler wrote a list of people who are Jewish for the nice little Jewish kids so they won't feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree.
  1. David Lee Roth
    lights the menorah
  2. As do James Caan,
  3. Kirk Douglas,
  4. (and the late) Dinah Shore-ah
  5. Bowser from Sha Na Na
  6. and Arthur Fonzerelli
    Now, Adam Sandler made the claim that Bowzer & Fonzie eat together at the Carnegie Deli but I have first-hand knowledge that this isn't true.
  7. Paul Newman
    Half Jewish
  8. Goldie Hawn
    Half, too
  9. Captain Kirk and Mr.Spock
    Who will be happy to spin the Dreidle with you.
  10. Barry Ackerley
    Owner of the Seattle Supersonics 1983-2001
  11. O.J. Simpson
    Adam points out, is NOT a Jew
  12. Rod Carew
    A baseball hall of famer!
  13. Ann Landers
  14. Dear Abby
    Ann Lander's sister!
  15. Harrison Ford
    Is a quarter Jewish, which is not too bad!
  16. Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
    But he's not! Know who are?
  17. All
  18. Three
  19. Stooges
  20. Tom Cruise isn't
    But Adam heard his agent is
  21. Tell your friend Veronica
    It's time to celebrate Chanukah I hope I get a harmonicah Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah So drink your gin and tonicah And smoke your marijuanikah If you really, really wannakah Have a happy, happy, happy, Happy Chanukah