Funny Things to Text Parents When Their 7 Yr Old Is Sleeping Over

  1. Dude, you kid can't hold his liquor.
  2. So the kids decided to play barber...
  3. I knew I shouldn't let the kids play with the table saw but I didn't want to look uncool...
  4. How have you not shown your kid porn yet?
  5. Don't worry, the finger is on ice in the freezer.
  6. I forgot about your kid's allergy to kiwi.