WHAT NICKNAME SHOULD I PUT ON THE BACK OF MY SOFTBALL JERSEY? ➕

I play on the esteemed softball team of The Paris Review. This is the first year we are shelling out for shirts that have names on the back, and I can't decide on what to put on mine!
  1. Tammy Taylor
    I consider myself sort of the den mother of the team
  2. Adam "Edmund" Wilson
    Too literary? Too long?
  3. Watch It Fly
    This is my actual nickname on the team because I like to watch my home runs sail over the fence rather than run because I'm lazy and cocky. It can be a source of embarrassment when they don't go over the fence and I get thrown out at first. Not sure it's funny enough to make the shirt.
  4. Philip Roth
    I feel like it would be funny to have a Philip Roth jersey. con: people would think I am comparing myself to Philip Roth. Marco Roth, who pitches for n+1, wears a Passolini jersey.
  5. Some clever reference to a character in Bad news bears, the sandlot, major league, bull Durham, or another of the great baseball movies of my youth? Help me out @josh @maris @Rachsyme @LevNovak @gcowles @Becky
  6. Dave Keggers
    Suggested by   @LevNovak
  7. A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Penis
    Suggested by   @LevNovak
  8. All the way Mae
    Suggested by @mmckw
  9. Foul Balzac
  10. Roy Hobbles
    Suggested by   @gcowles