I was asked three of these things today by two different children. While their father was in the house.
  1. Can you get me a snack?
    Why yes, let me just grab the cheese sticks I keep next to the shampoo.
  2. Can you help me find my missing Lego?
    No. Why? Because I am wet, soapy, and don't even have my glasses on.
  3. Where is the dog/cat/sister/brother?
    I don't know, but you know where they aren't? Here. Beside me. Under the water.
  4. Can you make [sibling] do/not do [insert literally ANY thing]?
    Depending on the thing, this is one I actually have to deal with. It usually involves yelling and squinting and lots of "What?... No, I'M IN THE SHOWER TALK LOUDER OMG."
  5. Do I have to do that thing that Daddy told me to do?
    Yes. Daddy is in charge because I am in the shower. I am not in charge right now because the ONLY thing I can do is yell and condition my hair. For the next 10 minutes pretend I'm not here.
  6. Can you find me socks?
    I. AM. IN. THE. SHOWER. Go find your father.