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These are a list of things that every adult should not do.
- •STOP using COMIC SANS as a fontLook story time is over! Put the crayons away and don't choose a font that resembles a older man trying to relate to today's youth! I'll take Ariel, Century Gothic... Hell give me Times New "I have no imagination" Roman. Just put the damn Comic Sans away!
- •Wearing Bow tiesToday I saw a lawyer on tv wearing a bow tie and I immediately wanted him to loose his case. We are not in Pee Wee's playhouse! You are not James Bond! Unless you are staring in a barber shop quartet or working at 1950s ice cream shop wear a Neck Tie!...small addendum to this is that if you are over the age of 65 you can wear all the Bow Ties you want...ADORABLE!
- •Have large pythons as petsYep allow me to pause for those that are shocked and awed by me for marginalizing an entire species....done? Good. I don't like snakes but that isn't the point. If your in high school and you want to feel like a badass fine! Get yourself a baby Python and impress your friends. If you are a grown adult then owning a snake has moved from a fun talking point to a codependent relationship with an animal that is silently waiting for you to leave his cage open and fall asleep so he can strike!
Don't know why but these are things I am totally unashamed about but still I harbor guilt for enjoying
- •Walker Texas RangerDon't care what season I love me some chuck Norris
- •The Movie Enough with J LoI watch it every damn time it's on tv
- •The golden girlsI'm not at all embarrassed I have always loved this show and I always will
These are simple things that are continually frustrating me day to day. Yes they are all first world problems...I am well aware.
- •Drive thru pharmaciesYes, drive thru was made for its convenience and speed. I have found the drive thru pharmacy to be twice as long as if I had gone to the tropical forest and crushed the plants myself into the Prilosec that keeps me eating the tacos that I love. Yes! I could go into the pharmacy or the system of the drive thru could live up to expectation.
- •Walmart has seventeen checkout lanes with only 3 cashiers.Listen I am all about job growth and if the demand is there the jobs should be too. Come on Walmart! I love your prices and thank you for having cost effective groceries now get in the economic game and hire some more people.
- •When I ask for a side of ketchup at a restaurant and they bring me a baby Dixie cup sized thimble of ketchup.Do I need the extra sodium...No. Do I want it...Yes! Look if I am paying 12 dollars for a burger that is clearly the highlight of my evening. Help a brother out a just leave me the bottle.
Not all advice is deep, it's just true.
- •Never share soup... You might as well be drinking another persons saliva
- •Mechanics are like doctors...they can mess you up so show respect.
- •On a tall man suspenders are classy vintage on a short man suspenders are not that.