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The annual physical: where doctors caress all your body with wires and metals and gels and you get to ask/say stupid things to fill the awkward silence.
  1. On the upper GI X-ray: I understand I need to drink this barium. Is barium a carb? I need a yes or no.
  2. On the ultrasounds: Judging by the people you've scanned today, don't I have the best looking liver? It's probably top tier. Like, top 10% right? I mean, I didn't drink at all this week.
  3. On another scan: Oh my god. I can see inside me. This is too intimate. Are my insides amazing-looking? Please be honest.
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