SPECIAL SKILLS LISTED ON MY RESUME

  1. Creating and implementing unconventional ways to wake my sister up
    ie dangling food near her face and sending my dog in to 'ATTACK'
  2. Editing tweets until they are *perfect*
  3. Taking hypothetical jokes way too far
  4. Staying up to ungodly hours accomplishing seemingly nothing
  5. Puns
  6. Relentlessly ignoring someone that I am attracted to
  7. Snapchat art
    Actually what I want to do with my life
  8. Remembering and dwelling on small details that no one else cares about
  9. Procrastinating
    I was going to make this list 3 weeks ago
  10. Reading wikipedia summaries of films and pretending I have seen them
  11. Reusing jokes that worked before
  12. Spreading the unironic use of terms such as YOLO