The Seven Bad-But-Not-Quite-Deadly Sins
We all know there are exactly seven really bad things you can do, but did you know there are also seven sort of bad things you can do? Here they are, in order of when I thought of them.
- 1.Coughing into your hand instead of your elbowNot practicing proper cough hygiene spreads germs, and germs are agents of Satan.
- 2.Not flossingIf you choose not to floss your teeth, you'll have to answer not only to your dentist, but to God!
- 3.Blowing out a match too earlyHey, there was plenty of flame left in that match! Stop wasting fire, ya doofus! It's a limited resource, you know.
- 4.Alphabetizing books by title instead of by authorHonestly, what the fuck were you even thinking?
- 5.The Big Bad Wheel (?)I think that's what this one says? I can't really read God's handwriting.
- 6.Buying all the dogs in a shelter and throwing them off a cliffDogs can't fly and you should know that.
- 7.Grocery shoppingOh boy, another example of God condemning a perfectly reasonable lifestyle for no discernible purpose. Classic God.