Since we are doing this
  1. My dad is really jewish. Also a very eccentric artist. Makes menorahs out of bullet shells he collects in joshua tree.
  2. My mom grew up with one of those electric menorahs where you screw in a lightbulb each night.
  3. Confession: I had my bat mitzva a year late because no one was going to make me do it at 13. So when I say "the first time I gave a blowjob was one week before my bat mitzva" it is not as outrageous as it sounds. Almost, though.