THE WAY TO THIS BOY'S HEART

Listen up ladies IMPORTANT
  1. Take me out to dinner
  2. Show me the city
  3. Put your coat down over a puddle so that I don't get my shoes wet
  4. Open the door for me
  5. Invite me up to your apartment when the night draws to a close
  6. Give me a glass of red wine
  7. Get me really hammered on alcohol and good conversation
  8. Stab me in the neck with horse tranquilizer
  9. While I'm alive, but unconscious, feel my chest to see where my heart is (slowly) beating
  10. Mark this area with a sharpie or permanent marker
  11. Cut along the line you've made with a steak knife
  12. Slowly remove the skin from my chest
  13. Grab my still beating heart and yank it out of my open chest
  14. Dispose of my body
  15. Preserve my heart