in no particular order
  1. Panhandlers
    If you're the type to give money, you're always losing money. If you're not, you're always looking away awkwardly wondering if this will count as a strike at Heaven's Gates
  2. Guy who hits on you
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    Never attractive, always aggressive. The last one I encountered was wearing a jacket like this but also pants in the EXACT SAME PATTERN
  3. Self-appointed train DJs
  4. Voter registration interns
  5. Dude who smells like human trash
  6. Student who keeps their backpack on the empty seat even though I KNOW YOU SEE ME STANDING BITCH
  7. Old woman who looks so frail
    Because maybe I'm the student sometimes and dammit my backpack is so big and now I gotta squish it between my legs so you can sit down ugh
  8. Two hipster friends talking about their plans for the night
  9. Someone you know kind of, but not that well and you meet on the platform and are going in the same direction so you gotta decide if you're gonna sit with them the whole way and make horrible small talk or figure out a way to veer off to the other side of the car without seeming rude
    I always always veer off