MY NEXT 3 BOYFRIENDS
A speculative but realistic prediction.
- •"Mike" Like 40. Blonde hair, tan, quitessential Cali "daddy." An actual father. He left his family bc he couldn't fight his thirst for dick any longer. It was really traumatic and weird for them at the time but that was like 4 years ago and now they're over it and stoked that he's happy and dating a hot cool 22 y/o (me). Big dick.He has bachelor pad in Malibu (obviously like 50% of the reason we're dating) which is so annoying to get to but one day he surprises me with a check for gas money and I'm like "whaaaat? That's so unnecessary you didn't have to do that" literally as Im direct depositing the check w my banking app.
- •"?" Ummm I think he's from either London or Paris. He's hot and cool but not funny (can't have all 3). We go on a swanky European vacation at some point (he pays for everything) and get into a dramatic fight bc I tell him he's "taking things too fast" even though In reality I'm soaking wet the entire time. Big dick.We break up bc I meet frank ocean and he falls in love with me.
- •Frank ocean@frankocean hello? Are u there dude? Give me like 2 years then it's ON