Old man words of wisdom.

Thanks to my father, who passed down his genetic code for being a cheesy jackass, I am too a cheesy jackass. These phrases are some of my favorite Dad Jokes!
  1. "Are you hurt? Then don't do that anymore. It hurts every single time!
    He used to pull this one on me all the time! Imagine, a young boy falls down and skins his knee. The pain of the fall causes the little boy to cry. The father, standing near by, runs to his boy to help. He cleans up his sons dirty, scraped up knee. He comforts his boy, pats him on the back, and with the biggest shit eating grin like he thinks it's the funniest thing in the world says, "don't do that anymore. It hurts every single time." Que the troll face.
  2. I like Jolly Ranchers or as I tend to call them, "Gay Cowboys."
    Both rejected titles for Brokeback Mountain! Buh-dum-bum!
  3. "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on."
    Unless you're into that sort of thing.....no judgement.
  4. Dad- "What are you eating under there." Me- "Under where?" Dad- "That's gross! You're eating underwear?!"
    I was like 6 when I fell for this and he still hasn't let me live it down! Let it go, damnit!