GUYS MY MOM HAS TRIED TO SET ME UP WITH

@Nicholas putting me on the spot! So, I'm Korean and I have a very Korean mom. I think all Korean moms LIVE for the moment when they can play matchmaker with their kids. It's like her greatest source of joy and amusement. Here's a small sampling of guys my mom has tried to set me up with. Names may have been changed.
  1. Slumlord Lee
    Slumlord Lee was a handsome fellow whose greatest aspiration in life was to buy out his nemesis' strip mall in Chicago. He owns 5 strip malls already, yet can't seem to get over the one that got away. I hope his dream comes true.
  2. The Import
    A well-to-do Korean doctor living in Seoul. That's all I knew about him, which was plenty for my mom. He visited me in San Francisco for a blind date. I have to admit, I was charmed by his "lets try this!" attitude. We went on a dinner date. I learned he had an obsession with duty-free shopping and ladies shoes. (Dr. Seoul had a foot fetish, lol. No judgment tho, seriously.) I got the impression he wasn't into our date as much as he was into buying booze and cologne tax free. Ouch, my ego.
  3. Friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend's son.
    Mom: Can I give him your number? Me: No! Mom: Too late, I'm sorry honey. I hear he's very nice! He's Christian, teaches bible study, and lives in San Jose! Me: Mooooooom!!