REASONS FLAVOR FLAV'S CHICKEN & RIBS RESTAURANTS CLOSED...
Public Enemy MC Flavor Flav operated several chicken and rib restaurants in the Detroit are during the early 2010s. Sadly, they have all closed. Here are some reasons...
- •Consumers did not heed chain's tagline - "It takes a Nation of Millions To Keep Us in Business!"
- •Overuse of 'Flavor Flav-O-ring (tm)'--made food taste too much like Flavor Flav.
- •Customers simply tired of agreeing that 'Yes! I fully know what you're saying, Boy-eee!' while ordering.
- •Got shipment of giant digital clocks by accident - just wasn't the same as analog.
- •Failed to anticipate evolving marketplace, forced out of business by 'Big Daddy Kane's Chicken Cordon Bleu and Brioche-ry'
- •Organization diverting more time/resources to Flavor Flav's Aerospace Division.
- •Dow Chemical no longer legally able to supply delicious 'Chickeen(tm) Product'
- •Wildly exceeded the FDA's allowed 65 parts per million of vaguely racist concept
- •Final person visiting ironically occurred on October 7th of 2012. Downhill since then.
- •'Kickin' it old school' should not describe raw chicken supply.
- •Odd positioning of quotes in name of Professor Griff's Security "Professionals". Mistakes were made.
- •Flav's strict goal of 'Two Michelin stars in two years' simply not met.
- •Study finds that ratio of people saying 'We should totally go there!' to actual patrons...3,274 to 1.