THINGS I'VE SAID TO MY DOG

  1. Yes, I do think that needed to die.
  2. Prance baby, prance! Strut!
  3. Should we watch NCIS or My Little Ponies next?
  4. It's like you're a giant, cute pillow. A pillow that farts.
  5. What are you eating? Plastic? Solid dinner option.
  6. We live on the 5th floor I'm not sure we need to bark at the dogs on the street to stay safe, but I like the enthusiasm.
  7. Seriously, where do you get this much hair?