How I Know I Am 3 Months Shy of Turning 40

  1. I don't get why Drake is cool
  2. Keep referring to myself as "an almost 40 year old" i.e. "An almost 40 year old would not live in the basement of her parents' house" (even though I might be)
  3. I am not amused by water-parks as I once was
  4. I am increasingly bitter over movie remakes and bands reuniting. Examples: Point Break, Belly, the Pixies
  5. The internet rumors about Zack from Saved by the Bell dying in a motorcycle crash don't take off the way they used to.
  6. Chin hairs (the struggle is real)
  7. I remember all 5 of the videos MTV endlessly looped when they first aired
  8. I don't speak Fetty Wap (but I DO know what sizzurp is!)
  9. No-one younger than me recognizes the SNL references that my vocabulary was once based on ("her head was just toooooo wide" "Choppin broccoli, going to the gym going to work out work out" "I am not that STRONG of a swimmer" "I'm not defensive, YOU'RE the one who's being defensive!")
  10. I'm starting to question my love of guitar feedback in songs
  11. I read philosophy and long to discuss it with others
  12. Don't get the urge to shave my head in rebellion against female stereotypes nearly as much