1. She likes to show her butt
  2. She likes to shake and flip her hair
  3. She is the zodiac killer
  4. She likes to have 5-20 women behind her at all times
  5. Subtlety is not her strong point
  6. She likes to drink and make lemonade
  7. She has high production values
  8. Her stage rider must be pretty impressive and must include lemonade
  9. She can shoot lasers from her eyes
  10. No man can contain what is Beyoncé
  11. I am afraid sometimes that she will flip her head right off
  12. She doesn't like pants
  13. She is very rich
  14. Probably was never awkward at any point in her life
  15. Go Montessori!
  16. She could take Katy Perry and her entire production team and dancers and eat them for breakfast
  17. She is a lizard person
  18. She likes vocal scales
  19. She has descended from the mountain of Zeus
  20. She uses a blowtorch to take off mascara
  21. Beyoncé is not my friend, but she is also not my enemy
  22. No neck tattoos
  23. She keeps haters on a private gulag in Siberia and they can't wear pants
  24. Is no Phyllis Diller
  25. She can rotate her head around like an owl
  26. She is a survivor
  27. She has consumed Sasha Fierce like the body consumes a chimera
  28. Is the reason for global warming
  29. Can dance her way out of a paper bag if necessary