WHY I DID AND DIDN'T CHANGE MY NAME WHEN I GOT MARRIED

Here's my story of option paralysis.
  1. Maybe it shouldn't feel so complicated.
  2. I married my husband two years ago.
    🎉
  3. At that time, my feelings were ambivalent about changing my name. When we got our marriage license, I put both Katsen and Toner on there with the intention of making a decision later.
    Haha, "later."
  4. Here's why:
  5. My husband wasn't interested in creating a new last name out of our two last names, "Tonsen"
    which I still think is great and is our profile name on Netflix.
  6. I didn't change my name at work.
    Too complicated.
  7. I didn't change my name at the DMV or Social Security
    Too complicated.
  8. I didn't change my name on my credit cards.
    Too complicated.
  9. I won't let go of Katsen.
    My Dads last name.
  10. As my late father's younger of two daughters, I am the very last Katsen.
  11. My dad was three years old when he nearly died during the Siege of Leningrad during WWII. He and his mother barely escaped. His father disappeared and was never found.
    He remembers the first thing he ate. An onion, devoured like an apple. A story I'd like to tell at some point.
  12. I like sharing the same name as my mom and sister.
  13. I like my middle name, Simone. After my mom's grandmother. I want to keep it. Moving Katsen to the middle isn't something I want to do, either.
  14. But, I like being Mrs. Toner.
  15. I like the way it feels when we get called "The Toners."
  16. I believe the name is a cosmic nod.
    Maybe from my dad. Maybe from the universe to help me remember my dad.
  17. Why?
  18. Because my dad invented inkjet technology.
    I did not inherit his genius, unfortunately.
  19. And inkjet toner.
    I am not an heiress. This is another story I'd like to tell some day. But, if I were an heiress I'd demand you call me "The Inkjet Printcess." So, I guess we're all better off this way. Sure. My crippling student loans keep me grounded.
  20. As a Jewish person, I see significance in being A.Toner. Atoner. A person who atones.
    Get it?
  21. And while my husband wants me to do whatever I want and has no opinion regarding my name, I like the way his eyes sparkle when I book hotel rooms as Abigail Toner.
  22. I've tried to commit to choosing one name or the other and I can't. I have good reasons not to change my name but, "it feels good." Is strong enough for me to keep both even if it's just for holiday cards, dinner reservations, and my social media accounts.
  23. So, it's true. I'm a young ambitious woman and I want it all. I want all the names.
  24. I guess I did make a decision.
  25. I am Ms. Katsen. Ms. Katsen Toner. Mrs. Toner. Abigail Simone Katsen Toner. The almost Inkjet Printcess.
  26. And it feels good.