REASONS I LOVE UBER DRIVERS

  1. I have a special skill for establishing platonic relationships with middle aged men
  2. They are always happy to see me
  3. I get to talk about myself nonstop for 10-20 minutes
  4. They give me Halloween candy
    Happened once
  5. I feel like a C list celebrity getting chauffeured around
  6. I am going to get abducted
    I trust them too much