Responsibilities of My Best Friends

As my inspiration Mindy Kaling says, "a best friend isn't a person, it's a tier." Here are the things I expect from the people in my "tier."
  1. Listen to me
    I know most of the time I'm talking about things that no one cares about, but if you're my best friend then you should find it endearing.
  2. Cuddle with me
    Even if you hate physical touch you have to make an exception for me
  3. Agree with me
    Sometimes I will call you screaming and crying about some perceived injustice and you should ALWAYS take my side in this scenario. I don't care if I'm pissed at the Pope, I am right.
  4. Disagree with me
    After aforementioned time when you should agree with me, there will come a time when I return to sanity and become rational again. It's then when you should gently suggest I try another perspective and challenge me to be better. If you hate someone simply because I do...then I do not want you as my best friend.
  5. Explore with me
    I don't want a lazy ass friend who would rather sit inside all day and watch TV. You should love being outside, planning events and going out.
  6. Accept that I do not cook or clean but love me anyways
    I'm not domestic...deal with it
  7. Keep a bottle of my favorite wine on hand in case of emergency
    The way to my heart is through a dry Cab