DEAR PERSON IN PUBLIC

You know the inner monologue you have when someone does something strange/incredible/wtf in public? Here is your stage:
  1. Dear person watching YouTube videos in the JCC bathroom,
    Go on with your bad self. Way to throw the veil of social grace to the wind. That puppy does sound really cute.
  2. Dear person clipping your fingernails on Muni,
    You are what's wrong with the world. What the actual hell is wrong with you? Ewwwww.
  3. Dear person who brought the puppy into Starbucks,
    That animal is insanely cute. You just made this line so much better with that little face. Thank you.
  4. Dear very busy Starbucks barista explaining the ingredients in a PSL to the kind-looking but poorly timed woman,
    You are a saint and how do you multitask like that?
  5. Dear artificially busy guy in my office,
    If you stopped saying how busy you are on every phone call, you wouldn't have to stay late.
    Suggested by   @donnie