WISDOM TO IMPART SINCE I AM CURRENTLY 6 YEARS OLDER -- AND WISER -- THAN MY SISTER

A collection of things I've learned. I hope to live up to @rebeccazemel's expectations.
  1. Don't buy cheap toilet paper or trash bags. You'll just end up covered in shit.
  2. If the shirt doesn't make you feel good in the dressing room, it's not going to in the real world either.
  3. H&M pants are not made for girls with hips.
    Tbh, the same can be said about Target and most of Banana Republic.
  4. Adding cheese makes almost everything better.
  5. Never, ever read the comment section of the Tulsa World. It will make you want to send back your diploma.
  6. Pick nail polish colors based on their names. It makes a great story when people compliment you.
    Chubby Cheeks on my toes, in honor of Monkey. Merino Cool on my fingers to kick off sweater weather.
  7. Don't go to Trader Joe's hungry.
    But if you do, decide in advance how many poor choices you're allowed to make.
  8. Tip well.
    If you can't afford to enjoy the service and also leave a good tip, you can't afford the service.
  9. Don't try to fight logically with someone who doesn't think logically.