What I've lost since my mom died
It's mostly good days, but today I'm feeling a little blue.
- •My childhoodDue to work, my dad wasn't present for a lot of it. Mom was my connection to our first home, an apartment in South Florida. She knew me before I knew me. I have so many memory holes that I didn't realize I had until I started sorting 30+ years of photographs. I feel adrift.
- •My cultural heritageMy dad doesn't cook. My mom never wrote down the recipes, but here directions were "Add to taste." My sisters and I try, but it's not quite her food yet. I never learned to speak their native language and my daughter will never hear it.
- •My willful ignorance of family dynamicsI didn't want to know before. Now I have to.
- •My non-judgmental cheerleader
- •Someone who loves Christmas decorations as much as I doI seem to be the only one willing to drag the decorations out the day after Thanksgiving.
- •Someone who understands my fatherThe good and all the frustrating
- •The glue for our family