What I've lost since my mom died

It's mostly good days, but today I'm feeling a little blue.
  1. My childhood
    Due to work, my dad wasn't present for a lot of it. Mom was my connection to our first home, an apartment in South Florida. She knew me before I knew me. I have so many memory holes that I didn't realize I had until I started sorting 30+ years of photographs. I feel adrift.
  2. My cultural heritage
    My dad doesn't cook. My mom never wrote down the recipes, but here directions were "Add to taste." My sisters and I try, but it's not quite her food yet. I never learned to speak their native language and my daughter will never hear it.
  3. My willful ignorance of family dynamics
    I didn't want to know before. Now I have to.
  4. My non-judgmental cheerleader
  5. Someone who loves Christmas decorations as much as I do
    I seem to be the only one willing to drag the decorations out the day after Thanksgiving.
  6. Someone who understands my father
    The good and all the frustrating
  7. The glue for our family