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I woke up like this
  1. My parents and their 80s crew
    Dad is rolling his eyes and mom is rocking the sweatshirt around her waist. Legit half of my clothes come from their hand-me-downs
  2. Madchen Amick via Twin Peaks
    Daily aesthetic goals
  3. Log Lady
    And if I'm being honest, the whole vibe of Twin Peaks
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Some were good. Most were bad. None of them worked out. Inspired by @DanaDigsYou and @biskhan!!
  1. The "smart" guy
    He thinks he's awesome, but really he's more boring and condescending than anything. He'll most likely try to give you unsolicited life advice.
  2. The backpacker/long distance biking dude
    Only reads nonfiction books and has been the wolverine for Halloween at least once. He'll use any excuse to grow out his beard.
  3. The guy that dabbles in everything
    He does improv, is a snowboard instructor, loves everything Wes Anderson, and is teaching himself guitar. The only thing he won't try is a long-term relationship.
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They're the ones who make you think, "Oh, this is gonna be good" when they pop up in a movie or tv show
  1. Greta Gerwig
  2. Gabby Hoffmann
  3. Alia Shawkat
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I wasn't planning on making this list, but the quotes kept rolling in.
  1. "Do you like the chipotle? I just can't make heads or tails of that place."
  2. "Buying a boat is like ripping up money in a cold shower. My buddy in Pennsylvania owns a boat and let me tell you something, you can't float a boat in the Poconos."
  3. "You know, I tried butternut squash ravioli and it was delicious. Who would have thought of just squash and butter?"
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My mom had an expired 20% off coupon, so we obviously went and things got weird. This trip was set to the soundtrack of Ryan Cabrera's On the Way Down.
  1. Your pets too can now enjoy a rustic drinking experience
  2. This unfortunate translation
  3. I feel like these were also the selling points of a 1950s housewife 💁
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Most of these probably have to do with food
  1. Getting the first spoonful in a new jar of peanut butter or Nutella
  2. When my dog wags her entire body because she is so happy to see me
  3. That time during the day when the sun is at that perfect angle and lights my entire room up in gold
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  1. Why is everyone's makeup so orangey?
  2. Everyone is like a bronzed goddess
  3. William Shatner was a v. pretty man
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For when you want to laugh or don't want to cry. Jk these still might make you cry. *all are a available on Netflix unless noted*
  1. John Mulaney: New in Town
  2. Anjelah Johnson: Homecoming Show
    See also: That's How We Do It and Not Fancy
  3. Mike Birbiglia: My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
    See also: What I Should Have Said Was Nothing: Tales from My Secret Public Journal
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Her name is Maeby and she can work an eye roll better than me.
  1. That time I was very rude and interrupted her mid-afternoon snack
  2. That time she was done with my picture taking B.S.
  3. That time she was so not about the beach
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It's always good to have a backup plan, I guess.
  1. Potato
    French fries, potato chips, tater tots, home fries, potato pancakes... All potatoes all the time!!!!
  2. Rollin With The Homies
    Burrito-sized egg rolls????
  3. Church
    Because banh mi is blessed and beautiful
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