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I woke up like this
- •My parents and their 80s crewDad is rolling his eyes and mom is rocking the sweatshirt around her waist. Legit half of my clothes come from their hand-me-downs
- •Madchen Amick via Twin PeaksDaily aesthetic goals
- •Log LadyAnd if I'm being honest, the whole vibe of Twin Peaks
Some were good. Most were bad. None of them worked out. Inspired by @DanaDigsYou and @biskhan!!
- •The "smart" guyHe thinks he's awesome, but really he's more boring and condescending than anything. He'll most likely try to give you unsolicited life advice.
- •The backpacker/long distance biking dudeOnly reads nonfiction books and has been the wolverine for Halloween at least once. He'll use any excuse to grow out his beard.
- •The guy that dabbles in everythingHe does improv, is a snowboard instructor, loves everything Wes Anderson, and is teaching himself guitar. The only thing he won't try is a long-term relationship.
They're the ones who make you think, "Oh, this is gonna be good" when they pop up in a movie or tv show
- •Greta Gerwig
- •Gabby Hoffmann
- •Alia Shawkat
I wasn't planning on making this list, but the quotes kept rolling in.
- •"Do you like the chipotle? I just can't make heads or tails of that place."
- •"Buying a boat is like ripping up money in a cold shower. My buddy in Pennsylvania owns a boat and let me tell you something, you can't float a boat in the Poconos."
- •"You know, I tried butternut squash ravioli and it was delicious. Who would have thought of just squash and butter?"
My mom had an expired 20% off coupon, so we obviously went and things got weird. This trip was set to the soundtrack of Ryan Cabrera's On the Way Down.
- •Your pets too can now enjoy a rustic drinking experience
- •This unfortunate translation
- •I feel like these were also the selling points of a 1950s housewife 💁
Most of these probably have to do with food
- •Getting the first spoonful in a new jar of peanut butter or Nutella
- •When my dog wags her entire body because she is so happy to see me
- •That time during the day when the sun is at that perfect angle and lights my entire room up in gold
Apologies to my Trekkie friends
- •Why is everyone's makeup so orangey?
- •Everyone is like a bronzed goddess
- •William Shatner was a v. pretty man
For when you want to laugh or don't want to cry. Jk these still might make you cry. *all are a available on Netflix unless noted*
- •John Mulaney: New in Town
- •Anjelah Johnson: Homecoming ShowSee also: That's How We Do It and Not Fancy
- •Mike Birbiglia: My Girlfriend's BoyfriendSee also: What I Should Have Said Was Nothing: Tales from My Secret Public Journal
Her name is Maeby and she can work an eye roll better than me.
- •That time I was very rude and interrupted her mid-afternoon snack
- •That time she was done with my picture taking B.S.
- •That time she was so not about the beach
It's always good to have a backup plan, I guess.
- •PotatoFrench fries, potato chips, tater tots, home fries, potato pancakes... All potatoes all the time!!!!
- •Rollin With The HomiesBurrito-sized egg rolls????
- •ChurchBecause banh mi is blessed and beautiful