TYPES OF GUYS I'VE DATED

Some were good. Most were bad. None of them worked out. Inspired by @DanaDigsYou and @biskhan!!
  1. The "smart" guy
    He thinks he's awesome, but really he's more boring and condescending than anything. He'll most likely try to give you unsolicited life advice.
  2. The backpacker/long distance biking dude
    Only reads nonfiction books and has been the wolverine for Halloween at least once. He'll use any excuse to grow out his beard.
  3. The guy that dabbles in everything
    He does improv, is a snowboard instructor, loves everything Wes Anderson, and is teaching himself guitar. The only thing he won't try is a long-term relationship.
  4. The puppy-dog
    He's sweet, seems to care, texts you everyday, but never makes a move. Did you just gain a new big brother? What is happening? One doesn't actually date the puppy-dog- you just almost date.
  5. The one whose intelligence you genuinely question
    He's kinda dumb and will keep doing bad jokes that make you uncomfortable- reminiscent of a weird uncle. You might kiss him just so you can take a break from talking to him. Assume plenty of girls had the same idea because he's v good at making out.
  6. The military dude
    He'll order your drink for you if you're running late so it will already there when you arrive and he'll text you to make sure you got home safe. He has a nonexistent sense of humor though and can't catch a hint.
  7. The clinger
    He treats you like a queen, but won't stop talking to let you get a word in edgewise. Despite not really knowing you, he'll talk about meeting each other's family on the second date. Dude feels things on another level.