How to Eat Chips Quietly

For when one of your best friends has misophonia
  1. You can't
    Accept now that you will make noise. It's impossible not to. Literally impossible.
  2. Let it dissolve in your mouth
    It's slow but almost silent.
  3. Chew REALLY slowly
    I mean like pretend the chip is your enemies and the slower you crush them the more satisfaction you get.
  4. Stand in the corner a good distance away
    If a tree chews in the corner does it make a sound? Let's find out
  5. Don't smack
    This is a personal tip from said best friend. She hates it. Control your spit or control your mouth. (For those that don't know, smacking refers to chewing with spit and involving your lips more than necessary)
  6. Maybe eat in the hall
    Get as far away as possible while still being able to hold a conversation. Your chewing will probably be forgotten. (Sort of an extension of the corner)