THINGS IN MY LIFE I'VE REFERRED TO AS MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT

Hopefully this will be a running list...
  1. Eating pizza for every meal while on a two-week vacation to Italy at age 9.
    Next time: pasta.
  2. Making a friend laugh so hard she started to piss herself.
    Name redacted to protect anonymity.
  3. Not ending up in the hospital while studying abroad in India.
    Unlike the majority of my fellows.