REASONS I'M FEELING XTRA BITCHY THIS SUNDAY

Cold? Yes. Grumpy? Yes. Emotional? Yes. I'm a fucking triple threat.
  1. Swollen lymph nodes
    My current symptoms are inconsistent with any reasonable diagnosis besides feeling like shit making me feel even that much crazier for being suuuuure that I'm sick
  2. Taking care of the white girls last night who will inevitably be taking care of me come 21st bday Wednesday
    Shrill squeals. Puke. Temper tantrums. Lost phones. Useless boyfriends. Need I say more?
  3. The sad realization winter is upon us
    My hands and feet have officially entered their six month phase of incurable permafreezing, borderline numbness. Even wool socks aren't helping.
  4. When plans involve food you don't bail without proper notification
    When I text you to tell you I'm hungry is not the time to decide you don't want to go gorge yourself on something that may or may not qualify as food with me. I was counting on you; binging alone is a whole different kind of pathetic.
  5. Saturday's 9.5 hour shift followed up by Sunday's 8.
    Because "I love my job" is a sick lie we tell ourselves on payday that isn't ever muttered at 7:15am on Saturday/Sunday morning when you actually can't snooze the alarm one more time but your cute new boyfriend is naked spooning you like no one else ever has
  6. My laundry can't do itself
    Washing, drying, folding, hanging, putting it all away... You can't reasonably expect me to have that kind of follow through