How to Replace Bacon in Your Diet

The World Health Organization announced yesterday the link between bacon and cancer. This list will hopefully ease your pain as you wean yourself off of the delicious, fatty (not-so) goodness.
  1. 1.
    Peanut butter
    Particularly crunchy peanut butter. It goes well with a PBLT.
  2. 2.
    It's fatty like bacon so it won't upset you *too* much
  3. 3.
    People have been saying it's the best meat substitute for years so why not try it out?
  4. 4.
    Wallow in sadness
    There's nothing that actually tastes like bacon so instead of trying to replace it just wallow in sadness and eat something else. Life sucks sometimes.