Funny Things My Grandma Has Done

I love her
  1. said "I'm no saint" in regards to her past
  2. puts triple sec in lots of food, including fruit salad for breakfast
  3. got very drunk at her surprise 80th birthday party and slapped my best friend's mom's butt
  4. accidentally recycled her iPad because it was in a large stack of newspapers
  5. bought every type of unnecessary kitchen appliance ever back in the 70s
    She has a "cranberry chopper"
  6. completely shaved her dog, a previously white fluffy bichon frise, and told everyone that "Sophie is much happier with her new haircut"
    Also, this dog has only one eye
  7. played tennis 3 days a week until she was like 85
    My necessarily funny, but badass
  8. recently paid for a Lexus convertible in cash because she said "why not"