And We Will Write the Fortune Cookies
What people really want to hear from a cookie after mediocre food and a good self-loathing.
- •You will have minimal gas and will fall asleep after a reasonable amount of time.
- •That meat definitely did not have E.coli.
- •That person was definitely giving you a vibe. Google them.
- •From now on, everyone will use their blinker correctly and at the appropriate times.
- •No one will ever ask you if that's your natural color ever again.
- •Your next "adventure" will be a crapload of money!
- •Food reheated will automatically warm to the perfect eating temp, no matter what overeager numbers you punch in.
- •People will think you are interesting, soon.
- •Your slumber will be peaceful, with a full and bloated bellySuggested by @kate81
- •Your boss won't notice you took a long lunch and left early on FridaySuggested by @Tempe_Stripmall
- •People will hear you the first time when you tell them your name.Suggested by @kaylee
- •You look nice tonight. (I actually got this one once! And I was pregnant and grumpy, so I extra-appreciated it.)Suggested by @carolynparkhurst