My Areas of Expertise

For real.
  1. Getting restaurants to give you their "throw-away" food at the end of the night.
    Not the rotting, expired food. The good stuff that they just didn't sell that day.
  2. Candy Cane Chapstick
    I know how to get it in the Mojave desert in the middle of July.
  3. Making the worst and the best chocolate chip cookies using the same recipe.
  4. Amateur comedy.
  5. Cereal
    Between Toasty Os and Colossal Crunch, things can get pretty confusing.