Just off the top of my head.
  1. It will get better.
    - My first-grade teacher, when she was pretending to be a fortune-teller at a carnival. In some ways she was right.
  2. When your feet are cold, put on a hat.
    - My father, just before I went off to college in Minnesota. But hats are ugly, right? And that's how I learned that when wet hair freezes in sufficiently sub-zero temperatures it can actually BREAK.
  3. The company will never love you back.
    - A former VP at my former employer, when she noticed some unhealthy things I was doing to be the best employee I could be. She was fired a few weeks later. I lasted a couple more years before I burned out.
  4. This is not the only sofa you'll ever own.
    - My mother's BFF. This one requires a bit more of a stretch because in fact sofas are expensive and you can't casually change them willy-nilly (at least I can't). But the point is that you have to make a decision and if you end up hating, HATING what you picked, you can usually engineer a change down the road. Actually tbh this one kind of pisses me off even if I suspect it's true.
  5. [everything animals have taught me]
    Being in the moment, getting shit done, asking for what you need, worrying about yourself when necessary, caring about others when possible, and working your natural gifts.