FACTS ABOUT MY MUM THAT SHE DENIES 📂
She's prickly to love but I think I finally get a hold on her. I love her. I do. Her person challenges me and I'm stronger for it. I am truly her make, her daughter 🙋🏻 Happy belated birthday, mum 👸🏻 (and please don't get your granddaughter to read and translate this for you, sorry mum) #draftmas
- •Has a real name that she hardly usesShe was called 'Baby' from birth as she was fair (as compared to her dusky-skinned mother), rolly-polly and looked like a non-local baby (this usually means European-looking then). This name stuck and amalgamated into 'Bebe' in adulthood. Imagine the confusion the kids had when non-familiars call my mum by her real name.
- •She and her younger sister have the same nameRefer to #1. In the days of old, it was common for anyone else (really, a fellow villager is fine) to register a birth's name on behalf of the family. This was what happened when my aunt was born two years later and no one remembered what my mum's real name was. It is still fun to tell new kids of this fact.
- •Stubborn and unforgivingMy parents are Sagittarius. I don't believe in horrorscope but sometimes these two bulls are exhausting. Each would be the bad guy when the other is not around 😖
- •A great cookShe's an amazing cook and unfortunately, none of her daughters has a pinkie of her skills. I sometimes bribe my friends with my mum's food.
- •A frustrated bakerShe hates being bad at anything. One can't 'wing it' at bakery like you do at cooking, and she is known to stop 'playing baker' when things don't go her way. Precision is not really her best feature.
- •Food snobWhere do you think we got it from? Also, this makes her hard to please when we bring her out to eat. She makes her dissatisfaction known fairly clearly and would school us on our food choices and tastebuds. She's not wrong though. Usually.
- •A seamstress who learnt to love what she doesShe picked up tailoring to support the family, and specialized in traditional clothes. Her mother only wore clothes sewn by her. She'd stopped sewing for us for some years now but keeps sewing and wearing her own work till today. She was an entrepreneur before we even knew what the word was. She taught me that sometimes you get lucky and get to love what you're good at.
- •ImpatientShe is just like her mother in this case. And I see it in her daughters and granddaughter. I try to draw her out when I see her getting frustrated, and distraction helps sometimes. This was the same reason for her bad fall this year. Patience is easier preached than adhered to.
- •An unmovable mountainAgain the stubbornness. It's not that she's unfeeling, she just refuses to yield. When her mother passed away earlier this year, she hardly shed a tear or broke down at the funeral/wake. We all looked at her, straightened ourselves and carried on. We didn't know what she offered until it was given unasked.
- •Her love for us differs and changes but remains undisputedIt got into my head pretty early on that parents love their children equally different. Not less per se. Just in the way they try harder or lesser with us. I see us breaking her heart and us haphazardly mending it in our inept ways.
- •SarcasticHer family is notorious at this. The word volleys are epic and we talked about previous smackdowns like sporting events of the vanquished. Multi-POVs of any smackdowns is necessary.
- •Her PhD in reverse psychology with minor in silent treatmentI am a mess when I deny her requests (I got better at this, she's not unreasonable, just knows how to find and push your buttons 😖). I second-guess my reasons and reaffirm them to myself repeatedly. It's horrifying.
- •Self-reliantRemember that scene in 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade' where Indy had the talk with his father in the plane about him teaching Indy self-reliance? That's my mum. She never asked me about my schoolwork or if I could make the term. She just knew I knew how to make it anyway I can.
- •Wanting, enjoying and *deserving* the finer things in lifeAnd why shouldn't she (or we)? We work hard (for our money) and if it's not shared and celebrated with your loved ones, I don't know what's the point of it all. She remarks that she's above such material things but I love seeing her face light up when good things happen.
- •StrongAll mums are warriors. We hear more stories of my parents' marriage lately (my mum is beginning to lose her filter) and we never give her enough credit. She blocked so much from us and we never knew. She carries on, bearing it for us.