1. If you think I'm going to spend less than 50% of this day on the couch.... Try again.
    Sick + March Madness. Best excuse I know of.
  2. If you think I'm going to wear a bra unless I'm actually leaving my house.... Try again.
  3. If you think I'm going to leave my house for reasons other than getting food I don't have to cook.... Try again.
  4. If you think I'm going to be productive on any of the large tasks with deadlines looming.... Try again.
    It's Saturday, the first day of my spring break, and, I'll repeat, sick and there's March Madness.
  5. If you think I'm you think I'm not going to scream at my TV when Duke is playing despite having about 7% of my voice left.... Try again.
    Also, you don't know me very well if you think that. 🔵⚪️😈
  6. If you think I'm going to hole up, be sick and lazy, and not text anybody, but still be bummed that I didn't hang out with anyone..... Try again.
    Welcome to the most frustrating contradiction of my life. I hate my brain.