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  1. All the Harry Potter books, hardcover
  2. Unlimited Cheetos of the normal and Flamin' Hot variety
  3. An outfit entirely comprised of male clothing
4 more...
By affectionate I mean derogatory
  1. Trash monster
  2. Disgusting trash monster
  3. Trash receptacle
5 more...
That make me giggle when I remember they happened, often at inopportune times
  1. Once I was going to grab a spoon at lunch from the utensil / condiment / misc table thing
  2. There was a dude there who reached for a spoon at the same time
  3. Our hands brushed (!!)
6 more...
  1. Pancakes with some sort of sweet topping
  2. That corn stuff you can put in your burrito bowl at Chipotle
  3. Fried chicken
6 more...
If they would have me, of course
  1. Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec
    Ben Wyatt is everything I want and need in a man- if the writers of Parks and Rec created him could they maybe animate him into real life and then give him to me?? I hope to one day find my own gin-and-tonic drinking, fluffy-haired dork /human disaster
  2. Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders
    He would probably be super against Asians, but this is my list and therefore my rules. The accent, the eyes, the cheekbones, the complete and total disregard for life and death?? The fucking hats?? I would help him run the family empire and it will be good
  3. Nick Miller from New Girl
    The total package: classic Chicago fat-strong, perpetual 5 o'clock shadow, unwilling to show emotion, low-maintenance to a fault, can make me drinks, and amazing kisser