MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

I am the most interesting man alive. But I still get embarrassed
  1. So one time during track, I pants my bestfriend. LOL. I got the whole nine yards. My father ain't raise no quitter. His goods were in full view of all the girls in our grade. Little did I know that he would get me back. Even worse. I go to take a shower in the locker room. As I go to grab my clothes...you guessed it...they were missing.
  2. One time I was spanking the monkey. You know tugging the willy. Well I decided to do it in the living room...yeah bad idea. Fully naked with the sliding doors wide open. To my disbelief I look up to my father being like wtf outside. I walked away, put on my clothes, and did a shit ton of chores that day.
  3. One day in 7th grade, I took my crushes planner and decided to seal the deal. I use multicolored pens to drop the question, "will you be my girlfriend". Let's just say she got her planner back and clearly stated that she wasn't interesting.
  4. One time I took a couple fireworks and was just being the usual pyromaniac. I go down to light a firework but did not realize that it was already lit. I spent into my parents bathroom searching for any makeup to cover my missing left eyebrow. That night my mom was like nice fake eyebrow...I was so close.
  5. One time in soccer I was playing defense and the ball came towards me. Instead of kicking it away I passed it to the goalie....and scored on him. We lost that game.
  6. One time I was running during track. I thought I was so cool running backwards in front of the baseball team. I tripped over my feet and fell backwards. I have a huge scared on my wrist! Just ask I'll show you