WHY DO I OWN THESE THINGS?!

  1. High heels
    I'm not 21 anymore, even flats are stretching it
  2. Clothes hangers
    We all know the clean clothes will stay in a pile until I wear them next
  3. Dining room table
    TV trays, man. Food + TV= 🙌
  4. Knick Knacks
    I DO NOT NEED MORE CRAP TO DUST!!!
  5. Aerator
    I cannot wait 45 more seconds for my wine to get "air", I need it immediately. 🍷🍷 (yes this emoji is in my frequently used list)
  6. 48 mis-matched towels
    I cannot throw away a perfectly ragged towel
  7. A bed for my toddler
    We all know he's just going to end up in our bed