CHAPTER TITLES FOR MY NOT SO NEAR AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  1. 12 steps of drunk texting
    From booty texts to why did you fuck me and then never text me texts, there should be an app that doesnt allow you to drunk text
  2. Reading my horoscope makes me feel more in control
    When anything goes wrong in my life I blame myself for not following what my horoscope says. Everything goes wrong in my life 87 % of the time.
  3. Yes there is a J in my name
    Coming from a super Polish family means that I get to have a super Polish name which means that 93% of people do not know how to pronounce my name or deal with how Polish I really am
  4. I blame being a Gemini for my shitty personality
    I cant keep a commited relationship for more than 2 weeks, and I get bored with every boy who tries to hook up with me, and I talk about myself way too much but im still probably the best person I know
  5. How to be a broke bitch
    Spend all your money on vodka and grub hub and then complain about how you cant afford your rent and have to sell your bed in order to make rent
  6. Im still a emo 8th grader in 2015
    I wil never stop listening to MCR or FOB
  7. I may be a complete mess but its ok
    My life at 22 is still probably only a mess but honestly its ok. I dont have to know what exactly my life will be like in like 5 years, i guess I just have to focus on being a good person and actually using my talents and abilites (and i guess maybe its ok that i still get drunk sometimes and drunk text my mom @ 3 am).