Loss and the love it fills you with

I'm feeling kind of reflective and sad this Valentine's Day
  1. In Valentine's Day, I just tell every person I love that I love them, because so many people I love have a hard time wth this day.
    It's a stupid holiday but feelings are valid even if the holiday isn't.
  2. I pulled up AJ's number first thing at six am when I woke up, not thinking at all.
  3. Then it hit me all over again, like it does every fucking morning, that he's dead. He's fucking dead.
  4. I'm still heartbroken and sad about it and I don't know how to stop feeling an ocean of sadness every time I wake up.
  5. I loved you and never told you and my heart is breaking every day.
  6. Tell people you love them. Always.
  7. But, it's not all awful.
  8. As much loss as I've felt this year, it's intensified so deeply how much I love.
  9. The rush of love and affection for my friends is so much stronger. My sister and I are closer than ever.
  10. Loss is so profoundly painful, but love fills me up.
  11. ❤️️