On brand things I have done lately

  1. Forgot to wear a bra to my favorite professor's office hours and then proceeded to argue my essay about Mexica concubines during the Spanish conquest
    I KNOW HE SAW MY NIPS THROUGH THE LACY TANK I WORE UGH WHY
  2. Eaten a lot of toast and jelly in my car
    Perpetual lateness is who I am
  3. Ignored every message I got in tinder
    None of them were that great
  4. Cried
    Someone left a swastika on my car at school so now I'm technically the victim of a hate crime and being stalked so I can call the school police to escort me to my car whenever I feel unsafe
  5. Cried again
    ED SHEERAN HAS A NEW ALBUM PIT POUND THE ALARM ITS SO BEAUTIFUL AND HAPPYSADHAPPYSAD
  6. Danced in my car in Costco gas line
    SHE PLAYED THE FIDDLE IN AN IRISH BAND BUT SHE FELL IN LOVE EITH AN ENGLISH MAN