I'm a real life spit take
  1. "If I die first, tell someone to sext me with a Ouija board"
  2. "Rate his scale of dad bod for me real quick, just for science"
  3. "If we go to the bathroom together will you unhook my bra"
  4. "Will you follow me and my cat around all day and take pictures of us candidly playing and snuggling"