BIRTHDAY PARTY FOOD STAPLES OF MY CHILDHOOD, RANKED BY HOW MUCH I WOULD ENJOY EATING IT NOW

  1. 14.
    Arnott's Salada crackers
    So dry
  2. 13.
    Foxton fizz
    I don't want to risk it in case I get a lime (sick)
  3. 12.
    Milkshake lollies
    When I was little I told my dad I hated these because they taste like teeth. They don't, but they do taste like milk so fuck that.
  4. 11.
    Macintosh lollies
    These are for the elderly, not five year olds. They were always rock hard and you'd go running for them in the lollie scramble and then be so disappointed when you emptied your pockets.
  5. 10.
    Marmite sandwiches
    Always so much better on toast with melted butter or in a cheesy toasted sandwich.
  6. 9.
    Twisties
    I was never that into Twisties?
  7. 8.
    Minties lollies
    Always in lollie scrambles with the milkshakes. I mean they're fine, but we deserve better.
  8. 7.
    Ham sandwiches
    These were so basic, just ham and bread but honestly I'd still give it a crack.
  9. 6.
    Bluebird chippies
    Yuuuup unless they're ready salted because what the fuck that's so plain, give me flavour or give me nothing.
  10. 5.
    Cheerios
    I'm trash but these with heaps of T sauce rule.
  11. 4.
    Jaffas
    Chocolate anything is a winner, plus these are great for throwing at people's heads cause they fucking hurt.
  12. 3.
    Fairy bread
    White bread, butter/margarine, and 100s and 1000s. If you haven't experienced this then you gotta do it cause it's the best ridiculous food.
  13. 2.
    Themed birthday cake
    They were never as fancy as this one but my mum always did something fun and delicious.
  14. 1.
    Sausage rolls
    Nothing comes above sausage rolls.