even though time is an illusion/man made/doesn't exist and this isn't the ~end~ of anything cause let's face it all of the bullshit is just gonna keep fucking happening so
  1. My anxiety got real rough after work so instead of going to a party with my pal, I have instead had a couple of shitty bucket margheritas and several beers plus a cider and I am chilling out in my house in my underwear by myself
  2. I have drunk cleaned the whole bathroom, some of the kitchen, changed my sheets, thrown on a load of towels, vacuumed most of the house.
  3. I'm starting 2017 clean. Crying, but clean.
  4. Mostly I'm documenting this because it's astounding that I've managed to get through this much. I feel like, for the past few months, my depression has presented itself as cleaning anxiety and mild hoarding.
  5. I feel awful, but I feel proud of myself for being motivated in this moment.