Chronicling panic attacks or whatever the fuck this is I guess I'm trying to calm myself by writing

it down
  1. I could feel his hands on me
  2. For the first time in a really long time
  3. I could feel his hands pulling down my underwear
  4. Fighting me pulling them back up
  5. I haven't felt this or felt something that vivid in years i think
  6. My head is aching from crying so hard
  7. I've worked so hard to make my bedroom a safe space for me and now all of the bad shit is starting to seep in
  8. It's almost five years almost five years and I should be feeling free from this and I don't
  9. I'm gonna sleep now
  10. I'll probably delete this
  11. Also I'm sorry that this is what my account is now? Just anxiety and incoherent, stream of consciousness bullshit