Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. Ok so I probably didn't almost die but I was convinced I was dying
  2. Basically I had surgery almost six years ago to replace the pulmonary valve in my heart
  3. And they did that by going up through the artery in my groin and putting it in like that
    So technical
  4. Yeah so it was after the surgery and I was in recovery whatever
  5. And then they moved me back to my room
  6. And I needed to pee so the nurse brought me a bedpan
  7. Which by the way fucking sucks
  8. Like I tried four times to pee in the bedpan and my body just would not let me
  9. So it got to like night time or some shit
    Honestly time is an illusion and I was on a lot of morphine
  10. And the nurse said that I was fine to just go to the bathroom to the loo
  11. And she helped me up out of bed and I took two steps
  12. And my legs got very warm and wet and then my feet got really warm and wet
  13. Because a ton of blood was gushing out of my groin because ya girl had ripped her stitches
  14. I was just standing there in this growing pool of blood like I can't even begin to describe how terrifying it was
  15. Like I have never seen that much blood in my life and it was coming out of me???
  16. And this tiny little nurse threw me on the bed and immediately jammed her hand down hard on my groin
  17. And my mum is pounding on the emergency button
  18. Bonus: it ain't working!!!
  19. So the girl at the bed opposite me, her dad ran off to get help
  20. And then like four people run in and start trying to stop my leg from bleeding but that shit is gushing
  21. And idk whether it's the morphine or the blood loss but I am spinning and time is going both super speed and slow motion all at once
  22. By the way I am now lying in a pool of my blood and my fluffy pink dressing gown is now deep red
  23. And my mum is standing at end of the bed
  24. So I started screaming at her to get out
  25. Because I was convinced I was going to die
  26. And I didn't want her to see that
  27. I didn't want that to be the last thing you know???
  28. Fuck I thought I could write this and not cry this is dumb as hell
  29. Ok I'm cool
  30. And it felt like forever and also five minutes and then I had this big plastic pressure thing strapped to my leg and my bed was soaking
  31. And then everyone left and it was just me and mum
  32. Anyway I probably didn't almost die, but it really felt like it at the time
  33. And I had to throw my dressing gown away